Adventures in Smoking

Every time I fire up the smoker, it involves an adventure.  It generally involves my impatience in some form or fashion.  I KNOW smoking is a slow art.  I KNOW I have to let the smoke box come up to temp for at least an hour.  I KNOW that it will get there...it always does.

And Yet.  Enter Impatience.

This is my morning:
7:36 open eyes.  Freak out - there is light coming in the window!  What time is it??!!!
7:45 frantically start the process of warming up the smoke box and grill.
7:55 Wish desperately for coffee.  Open Dr. Pepper as substitute.
8:00 Ask Scott to carry brisket up from downstairs fridge.
8:05  Discover that the only way the charcoal is going to catch in spite of the rain is if I stand and hold the grill cover so the rain misses the coals.  Cough and curse.
8:15 Fling a small piece of wood in smoke box to smell something other than charcoal.  Cough more.
8:20 Are the coals cooking?  Did the rain put them out?  Put more around edges, just in case.
8:30 Check barrel temp.  Despair that it is only 200 degrees.  Decide to build small charcoal fire in barrel to warm it up.  Throw big hunk of wood in smoker.  Breathe deep.  Cough.
8:45  Start panicking that barrel temp is only 210.  Decide to build small charcoal fire on OTHER side of barrel.
8:50  Pour marinade into pan and score fat on briskets. Rub a little extra salt into fat.
9:00  Put meat on in a show of positive grill support.
9:10  Freak out more that barrel is still only 215.  Come up with crazy alternative plan to prep-rush briskets one at a time in the oven.  Turn on Oven.  Make an amazing creation of foil and place one brisket inside, and put it inside a ginormous pan.  Place in oven.
9:20  Throw another chuck of wood and a whole bunch of charcoal into firebox. Spritz with lighter fluid in desperation.
9:30 Notice the barrel temp is now at 275.  Gloat.
9:32 Eat MacDonald's breakfast lovingly provided by Scott and inhale MacDonald's coffee.  Grimace, and not in a cute purple monsterish way.
9:37 Check barrel temp.  It is now 300.
9:41 Check barrel temp.  It is now 350. And climbing.
9:42 Mentally run in circles, wringing hands.
9:43 Decide that maybe building fire in barrel was a bad idea.
9:44 Take brisket off grill.  Use metal spatula to scoop burning coals from barrel to firebox. Burn hands in way too many places to describe.
9:48 Put brisket back in barrel. Put lid down and note that it is steady at 275 with the lid up.
9:52 Decide that 510 is way too hot and open grill lid.  Check that temp is still steady at 275.  Break first rule of brisket cooking and turn them fat side down so meat doesn't burn.

Are you laughing hysterically yet?  Things went on in this vein, with me opening and closing the grill lid.  After about an hour, I discovered that I could wedge a hunk of wood in the lid so it was partially open and partially closed, and keep it at around 300 degrees.  After that discovery, I flipped the brisket back over, fat side up.  Meanwhile, I have this other brisket blithely cooking away in the oven, oblivious to what is happening to his brothers.  I eventually swapped him out with the bigger of his brothers.

They are still smoking away out there, maintaining the nice 280-300 that I prefer.  I, however, am DRINKING and wishing once again for patience. :)

I knew it! Toy Story

I knew that my stuffed animals and toys had fun playing when I was at school.  I told the grown ups about it over and over and they patted me on the head for my cute imagination.

Then this movie was released that backed me up with proof...




Was there ever a more diverse pair than Buzz and Woody?  And how about the rest of Andy's toys?  Rex, the non-scary T-Rex, Ham the Piggy Bank, Mr. Potato Head, and Slinky-Dog?  Bo Peep and the Gi Joe guys?  Mr. Spell?  Yet they all come together as a team, as Andy's Toys.

I just love this movie.  I saw it in the theater three or four times, and it is still on of my favorites on DVD.  I liked the second one, and the third one, and if rumors are true and there is a fourth one, I will go see it too.

To refresh your memory, here is the original 1995 trailer:

Dunt Dunt Duuuuhhhh! The Croods

First of all, I am not by any means, a movie snob.  And I have always loved Disney and Pixar and the like.  So when my son wanted to go see The Croods, I didn't need a lot of convincing.

May I just say: HYSTERICAL!!  I laughed and laughed, Sam laughed - oh, a good time was had by all.


One of the funniest things about this movie is that one of my favorite actors was in it, and I didn't even know.  Nick Cage plays the Dad, Grug, and I went the whole movie without recognizing his voice.  Ryan Reynolds is Guy, and Chris Sanders steals the show as Guy's pet, Belt.  Chris has so many notable animated performances from Stitch to Toothless to Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast, that he was a natural.  Chris Sanders is the "Dunt dunt duuuuuhhhh!" that Sam is mimicking in the picture.

If you haven't seen it, go.  It will enable you to wonder, and realize/remember that no matter what we know, there is always something new to learn just a disaster away. :)

A New Hope...in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

I think there is a time in everyone's life when they find something that just feels RIGHT.




Star Wars: A New Hope was the first movie I remember standing in line for at the theater.  It was 1977, my brother was a senior in High School, and I somehow doubt that taking his 7-year-old sister to the movies was what he had in mind for graduation weekend, but he took me.  I remember him entertaining me in the line, and one of his friends running to the 7-11 to get us cokes while we waited.

Unlike my ill-fated Mary Poppins encounter, I loved everything about Star Wars.  I still do.  I remember the opening salvo of the horns in the soundtrack at the beginning of the movie, and one of my brother's friends leaning over to read me the words scrolling on the screen.  (I also remember my brother saying, "Hey man, she can READ.") It was so exciting!  There were no animated characters singing and playing, and it was all happening in a galaxy far, far away!

Maybe it was because I wanted to be in a galaxy far, far away from an alcoholic parent and a home life that was less than idyllic. Maybe it was because I never considered there might be something out there besides Earth.  Maybe I just found my niche in watching things that made sense, but no one really talked about.  Whatever the reason, A New Hope felt like home, and began my journey with the Force of Sci-Fi.

Star Wars was not my first glimpse into Sci-Fi, as my brother felt that I would be better educated watching Star Trek after school than watching The Brady Bunch.  And while I also watched Land of the Lost and Buck Rogers, something just clicked when I saw A New Hope.  Maybe it was seeing it on the big screen.  I quoted the movie (well, I still quote all 6 at varying times), and years later when I had one of my first computers, I had a Star Wars sound pack on it so that when I got an error message, C3PO said, "We're doomed," and when it shut down, Obi-Wan said, "The force will be with you, always."  I carried various Star Wars lunch boxes through elementary and middle school, had t-shirts that are now considered vintage, had the action figures, and became...something more because of my glimpse into this world. 

This is the original, pre-John Williams trailer for the movie.  It's so awful, I am amazed anyone went to see the movie!

This version, edited for the re-release and considering the first trilogy, has a little different appeal:

Either way, it's Star Wars.
Use the force, indeed.

Losing all your highs and lows: Silver Linings Playbook

When I went to see Silver Linings Playbook, I didn't know what to expect.  I hadn't seen trailers, and I really didn't know what it was about.  I just went because my friend asked me to go, and because Bradley Cooper was in it.

About 5 minutes into the movie, I was riveted.  Bradley Cooper plays a character called Pat, who is bipolar.  Pat is discharged from a psychiatric hospital, and is trying to rebuild his life, which includes winning his estranged wife back.  This would sound like a creepy plot, except the characters are so real, and so memorable.  The writing was amazing, and I laughed out loud in so many (inappropriate) places, because the lines were just that good. ("I will apologize on behalf of Ernest Hemingway, 'cause that's who's to blame here.")   Here is the official trailer:

What was most amazing to me, however, was how much I saw of my son, and of myself, in Pat.  This led me to a mountain of research on pediatric bipolar disorder, and "soft" or bipolar II disorder.  You know how you don't know what you don't know, then you see it and you know?  I knew when I watched this movie.  This movie led me to the research that led to a discussion with my son's psychiatrist about his medications and diagnosis, which then led to a change of medication and diagnosis.  He is happier, more even keeled, and well adjusted...all because I saw this movie.

This movie shows two people with..."issues"...who are just trying to live their lives and control their disorders.  Isn't that what we all do?  Pat and Tiffany end up in love, through a series of unfortunate, and frequently hilarious, events. ("Calm down, Crazy!")  Which is what real life is all about.  We can always look back and see the timeline - we just can't tell what's going on when we are inside it.  This movie lays out the timeline of two people, with all their errors, and insecurities, and highlights the amazing spot where their paths crossed and entwined.

A key factor in the movie is a dance competition.  It is important because it is a bribe, because it is fun, because it is a dream, because it is a bet ("That is very manic indeed!"), and because it gives them both something to focus on, teaching them determination and discipline.  I included the dance scene below.  The dance itself chronicles bipolar emotions so well, with it's abrupt changes to different tempo's of songs with meaningful lyrics.  My favorite part (which I still continue to laugh at uproariously every time I see it) is the ill-fated lift that goes horribly awry (not what is showing in the still below, although that's funny too). Yet they go on as best they can with an, "I meant to do that" attitude, trying to overcome.  And that, my friends, is life.  I watch this clip every time I feel like I just can't handle another minute of whatever, because if they could do this, so can I.

The first movie I remember: Why I am afraid of umbrellas - Thanks, Mary Poppins!

The first movie I remember seeing was Mary Poppins.  My grandmother took me to see it in a theater, and I remember being very excited to go to the theater.  I remember getting my own little popcorn, and holding my grandmother's hand as we walked toward the front of the theater, and sat on the right side of middle.  I remember my grandmother unearthing peppermint candies from her bag and putting them in her sweater pocket for later.  I remember being excited by the previews, and thrilled when the theater lights went down.

But it wasn't long until I wasn't excited anymore, but terrified.  Most people remember Mary Poppins as the nice nanny who sang "A Spoonful of Sugar" and danced with the chimney sweep, but my memory was more like this:

Since becoming an adult, I have watched Mary Poppins with my son multiple times, and I have NO idea what scared me so much.  My grandmother told the story to make it sound like it was in the beginning of the movie when she appears floating down with her umbrella, and I thought she was a witch, so I screamed, and started crying, and no amount of soothing would comfort me, so we had to leave the theater.  I watched the above trailer, and still vaguely remember the feeling of terror!

However, I also now see the beauty of the movie.  The fact that I didn't watch it in it's entirety until I was in my 30's may have helped abolish  my terror.  Oddly, though, I still knew many of the songs, such as "A Spoonful of Sugar," "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," and "Chim Chim Cher-ee."  Now, when I think of the movie, it is more like the actual theatrical trailer:

Isn't it funny how those early memories color our perceptions?  I was afraid of umbrellas, and I still shiver a bit if one is opened near me and I am not expecting it.  When I see the wind turn one inside out, or I see one blown out of someone's hand, I automatically think of Mary Poppins.  It's silly, really, since I actually LOVE the movie as an adult. I credit even Mary Poppins with my concept of work: "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!"  (Mary Poppins)

2013: The Year of Intention

I am motivated, and touched, by the new year resolutions I see flooding Facebook today, the last day of 2012.  As I sit in our home library, watching it snow out our floor-to-ceiling window with puppies playing at my feet, I think back on my year and look forward to the next.

Twelve years ago, I vowed to live life with no regrets. UM...ahem.  I haven't done much in the way of "Resolutions" since then.  As a matter of fact, I find that I am drifting through most days.  A co-worker suggested we all make a bucket list for our work fun-time activity, and I realized that maybe the reason I haven't accomplished much is because I haven't goaled myself with much.  Degree?  Check.  Master's Degree(s)?  Check, check.  Perhaps it is because these things happened over the course of life and without specific intention that I feel a bit aimless.

So, I started my bucket list.  Nothing on it is earth shattering; the things on it are things I have been thinking about for years, but never committed to paper.  Yet somehow, the act of writing them down and seeing them in ink seems to make them real.  Maybe it is like the love of a boy making the Velveteen Rabbit real; goals need ink to give them life.

I am not going to share a bunch of goals and resolutions here, because (a), you probably don't want to hear them all, and (b), that's not the point.  What I am going to do is boil all this into a very simple phrase for my new year:  I am going to live with intention.

There is a great book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called The Power of Intention.  I read it years ago and just couldn't absorb everything I needed to absorb.  I am going to read it again.  There is a passage on page 230 that seems to crystallize everything I am thinking:

"If you bring forth what is inside you,

what you bring forth will save you.

If you don't bring forth what is inside you,

what you don't bring forth will destroy you."

No more floating and drifting.  I am going to actively participate in my life, and be fully alive.  I owe that to my family, my friends, and most of all - to myself.

Join me.  The Yellow Brick Road is full of obstacles and scary characters, but they all teach us something and cement our resolve, when we look at them for meaning.  The Yellow Brick Road is also full of beauty, love and joy.  I look forward to our awareness.